Elle Woods,Where Are You?

I just had a Legally Blonde moment. Remember where Reese Witherspoon's character, Elle woods, compares a salon visit gone bad to a national tragedy? Sure we guffawed at the dumb blonde, but today... today I understand the passion which burned in Elle's bosom as she made the most important address of her career. Today, I feel the need to pass a law executing the clueless salon murderess who touched my hair.

It started out so innocently. Another day, another checklist. Top on the list was my hair. I had all the raw materials available for a successful hair outing. All that was left was manpower- and I was willing to pay top dollar for it. On getting to the salon, I asked for the only stylist whose talent I could attest to, but she was nowhere to be seen. (I suspect she quit the sinking ship) Before I knew it, a replacement was assigned, after all the service was more important than the server.

I spent precious time explaining what it was I wanted done, ignoring the rolling eyes and tight, exasperated smiles. I tried to quell my doubts about the skill of the new stylist as I was repeatedly assured that my request was no biggie- it's not like what I wanted was so unique. This is what they did for a living. 'Relax, you'll love it', they said.

From the first snip of the scissors, I knew I was doomed.

Now I sit here; supplies exhausted, wallet diminished, migraine present. I can't even describe the calamity that befell me, just know that electrocution is the only just punishment for such travesty.

But you know what? I blame myself too. My heart told me to flee from the onset; but I convinced myself to stay (after all, I had come all this way...). I could have interrupted the proceedings several times, cut my losses and moved on- but still I stayed, praying silently that things would miraculously improve and I would laugh at my earlier paranoia. I could have screamed bloody murder when I saw the result of their 'labor' in the mirror but other than an unenthusiastic word of thanks, I paid them and went home. Sometimes I hate my good manners!

So here I am drinking the gall of another bad investment. Ever made any of those? I remember some really 'hot' investments that were very popular a few years back. Money doublers had new improved fishing poles and had cast their lines in the corporate world. Even though their proposals were ludicrous, many got taken in by the testimonies of great returns. In truth, some of the initial investors did get the promised returns and were encouraged to spread the gospel of "money for all". This is a major course in Con School. 'Every good con must set a believable precedent'. And so the trap was set and the bait, placed. This investment, like my desired hairstyle was 'no biggie'. It became very 'biggie' indeed when few months down the line, the money well dried up and hundreds, including dozens of senior citizens realized they had kissed their retirement monies goodbye.

Not all risks are worth taking. Sometimes you just know that something stinks about a certain business proposal. Or you just know that a certain salesman is full of hot-air. Don't get on that plane, don't make that trip, don't trust that person. Heed the unexplainable alarm bells that go off once in a while. Wish I listened to mine instead of trying to get juice from a cow. But then again, without it, you would not have the pleasure of reading this post. Silver lining people! Silver lining!!!

One last thing- I've heard of companies paying people known as 'Intuitionists' as much as $10,000 a month to inform them about their 'gut feeling' regarding the stock market. They are not being paid for informed, analytical, deductions, but for the ability to hear a still small voice. If CEOs can place such a high monetary value on that 'knowing' in your heart, isn't it time we stopped ignoring those 'checks' or 'promptings' we sense every now and again? The lesson? Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to speak up when you notice things going awry. We might never be paid for our intuition, but at the very least, we can be saved a very bad hair day.